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My Final

This course was a good time. I enjoyed most of the books assigned, canon or not. To be honest, i don’t care what people call the canon in writing. To me, they are all just books. Some are great, some are ok, and some suck. Canon or not, if i don’t like a book, i don’t care if its canonized or not. I still don’t like it.

Would i call the class Global Literature? I would to be honest because it sounds really boring and terrible. Then somebody walks into the class with negative expectations and then BOOM! the class is awesome and they are blown away.

What worked for me? The way you made blogs how we are graded. This is definitely one of the top classes i have ever taken in Queens College because of the blogging. I fell in love with it. I’d find myself blogging things that weren’t even assigned. Plus i feel i really got to express my humorous view on things when i wrote. Unfortunately, i don’t find myself participating in class but if people in the class looked my blog, i feel that’s a way i could participate and express my opinions to my classmates. This class stands out as being different because of the blogging and the way it was set up. This was also a tough semester for me as student having bronchitis twice and losing a friend of mine and the fact i didn’t have to worry about having ten page papers hanging over my head helped me a lot. The fact i didn’t have to be 100% serious when writing my opinions on the books we read also helped me a lot to really enjoy the class.

Another thing i liked about the class was the books assigned. Junot Diaz, Ernest Hemingway, William Faulkner all have found places in my heart. Diaz may take the crown for the class but if Faulkner’s ending to “The Sound and the Fury” had been better, he would have won hands down. That book was a huge let down but i really did enjoy it either way. Ernest Hemingway kind of surprised me. I didn’t expect to like his book much but i find myself really enjoying it. I’m also a fan of “Heart of Darkness”. I hate the beginning but i feel once the book gets going, it really is a good read.

What didn’t i like? The Oboma book. Sorry but i feel that politics and the classroom should kind of be left out of the classroom. That is really my only complaint about the class. I’m not a fan of politics to begin with to be honest so i was turned off by the book from the start and could never gain interest in it. I also HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE T.S. ELIOT!!! His poems are torture. They make my brain want to explode.

I’ll never forget, on the first day of class when you told me this would be a blogging class, i wanted to cry. I’m technologically retarded and hated the fact this class would be mostly online. Not going to lie, i was pissed. I remember asking myself how an older teacher could want to do a blogging class? I figured you’d be more old school but thank god i was wrong. As the course went on, i fell in love with the blogging and this has to be one of the most favorite things a class has ever done.

The way this class was set up i feel really helped me as an English major. This class gave me my own voice and allowed me to express myself in a way that i wanted to. I didn’t have to write papers with care and watching what i say. I said what i wanted and how i felt. So often i feel as students we censor what we say but i like making jokes and putting funny spins on things and this class allowed me to do just that. You actually read one of my blogs out loud and i felt well if i can’t participate with my mouth at least i’m doing it through my writing.

I wish you good luck in your life after teaching and want to thank you for allowing me to experience a class that allowed self expression and freedom. This class broke away from the traditional way a class is taught and it was great.

My Spam II

Quick blog i just wanted to ask the other people in class (who might actually look at other peoples blogs) how much spam comments did you end up with? I finished the year with 63 spam comments!! INSANE!!! I think this is pretty high but if anyone can top this, i’d really like to know

The Woman Warrior III

Madness and Silence play big roles in this chapter so rather then pick one, i’m using both. The chapter starts right up with madness and that’s thanks to no other but Brave Orchid. Cutting your daughter tongue so she doesnt become tongue tied? I’ve never ever heard of this. This causes Kingston to be very quiet and rarely talk. Madness creates Silence here. There is also the other chinese girl who takes the silent route. She does not say a word. Then madness makes a comeback when Kingston flips out and abuses this poor girl. She abuses her because she doesnt speak. Nice kid.

After the first round the score is all tied up Madness-2 Silence-2

When Kingston starts talking about some of the crazy people, that’s an obvious point for madness. I like how the one lady is a witch but also the village idiot. Must be a helluva witch. She acts a little crazy around chinese men cause she doesnt want to marry one fresh off the boat but then she gets worried that her parents are going to set her up with the retarded boy. This is a natural thought, no points awarded. When Kingston and her mother argue, i dont see any madness in that because ive seen my sister and mom fight all the time so im used to that. I also love how she calls Brave orchird out on her stories.

After that round Madness takes a narrow lead 3-2

At the end of the book, we realize Kingston would rather write then speak about her life and family. This is an obvious point for silence since unless you get the audio book, you’re not going to hear anything reading.

And with this late comeback, Silence ties the game up at 3-3!!! Looks like we are going to overtime!! I’m not sure how to do overtime but i’m giving the win to madness because Brave Orchid is a crazy old lady who made this book exceed my expectations. Her antics, what she says, she’s just an awesome lady. This is because she is the clear definition of MADNESS!

The Woman Warrior II

Brave Orchid is one tough cookie. Who else do you know who kicks the shit out of ghosts? Exactly. In the first section, shes kills a ghost at her school, scares an ape man, and delivers a baby with no anus. Her stories are kind of nutty and she might need to be hospitalized. In America she goes back to being a wife and a mother. She’s doing laundry and working in the tomato garden. She went from bad ass to housewife. She seems to be very nostalgic for China because America is filled with ghosts like the ever so scary Newsboy Ghost. Unfortunately for Brave Orchid if she kills these ghosts in America, she goes to jail or more probable, the mental asylum. She claims she’d be younger if she lived in China as well. I’d love to know how that works.

I’m fully aware this is a book of fiction yet i just love making wise ass comments concerning the absurdity of some of the stories. Entertaining but still kind of bat shit crazy.

Next chapter we get to meet Brave Orchid’s sister, Moon Orchid. These two are very different. A perfect example is Brave Orchid’s thoughts concerning what to do about Moon Orchid’s husband who left her and started a new family in America. Brave Orchid wants her to go into her husband’s house like Alexander the Great and take over. She wants her to make the wife her servant and the kids are now hers. Brave Orchard has balls as big as watermelons. Also Moon Orchid can barely do laundry. Brave Orchid used to fight ghosts, she can fold the laundry without touching the clothes. She doesnt do this but i like to think she can if she wanted to. They drive to husbands building to confront this poor guy and Moon Orchard is still a scaredy cat so Brave Orchard (staying loyal to her name) heads on in cause she frankly could use some action in her life considering her life isnt too exciting now. The husband dismisses them saying he doesnt want any piece of Moon Orchard. Moon Orchard goes nuts and when your crazy sister has to put you in a mental asylum, you know you have problems.

Now as for differences. Boy that’s kind of tough. In both chapters she really doesnt like woman too much. She takes being a woman warrior to another level in each chapter. She still kicks ass at folding laundry. Oh i got a difference! She doesnt kill any ghosts! She still loves China. You say there is an “enormous difference” yet i dont know what it is. Let me dig deep for a second. Alright i got something. Brave Orchard is a successful, powerful woman in Shaman. She does great things in China and when she comes to America i’m guessing she also kicks ass at tomato farming and folding laundry. However in this chapter, she fails. When she confronts Moon Orchard’s husband, she gets insulted by being called a grandmother and this whole situation drives her sisters crazy. Brave Orchard fails big time in the next chapter which is something we didnt really see in Shaman. In Shaman she talks a lot of ghosts yet in a way, her and Moon Orchard become the ghosts of Moon Orchard’s husbands past. Maybe a stretch but i’m sticking to it.

The Woman Warrior

How can Maxine claim to be a woman warrior? Hmmmmmmmmmmmm, well you have the first section which talks about Kingston’s aunt who killed herself and her newborn baby. This woman does this because she is looked down upon by her village and family because she had committed adultery. These traditional chinese families are psychopaths. I’m sorry but just because your daughter has sex with another man who isnt her husband doesnt mean you pretty much make her commit suicide. If every woman who cheated on her husband had to kill herself, Jerry Springer wouldnt have a show and i’d have nothing to watch when i decide to skip class in the middle of the day. So how does this section create a woman warrior. How about the hardship and what the aunt had to go through? She kills herself and her newborn baby. The battle for her in her mind must have been a fight for the ages. To make the decision whether to take ones life is insane. I guess you could call that decision a warriors decision. She did wrong and took her life. I recall seeing something that samuria so something similar.

“The swordswoman and I are not so dissimilar” What does this mean? Well Kingston wants to do her fighting with her words. That is her “sky sword”. I’ll be the first to say using your words to fight does not compare at all to having a sky sword. That’s like going into a duel with a piece of licorice. However, she raises good points. She wants to stand up for herself and hates how woman are treated in America. Words are how she will get people behind her. She’s kind of like Hitler in a sense. Hitler got people behind him because he had a way with words. Kingston wants to do the same except she wants to do good for the chinese woman rather then take over the world and kill jewish people.

The second chapter is about Kingston thinking of being Fa Mu Lan who you will never guess what she is? She’s a cashier at the local grocery story. I’m just kidding shes a WOMAN WARRIOR! Big shock considering the title of the book. Best part of the section is when the rabbit kills itself for her. I laughed pretty hard. Anyways Fa Mu Lan is the definition of a woman warrior. This crazy lady does it all. She beheads the baron, commands men to fight, and even has a sky sword. I want a sky sword for christmas. Those are her warrior traits. Then she had a child and a husband. Those are her woman traits. When you combine these you get the WOMAN WARRIOr!! I feel so bad for her husband and that poor kid better not bring home an A- otherwise this crazy woman is taking out the sky sword and spanking that ass.

i think you asked how can our author Maxine be the woman warrior. Well by putting this book out she shows the struggles a woman goes through along with a real woman warrior who overcomes the odds. This book is her way of giving woman some hope and opening their eyes to what’s going on. Maxine does her fighting with her words and her goal seems to be creating awareness. Maxine and the woman warrior are not so dissimilar and i think that might be because Maxine hides a sky sword under her bed. She writes books and pretends to use her words to fight but she’s definitely got a couple of pain in the ass racist bosses heads in her closet.

My Thanksgiving Revelation

Apparently i’m becoming an insomniac because late shifts at work have destroyed my sleep cycle. Anyways i had been wanting to write a blog on my Thanksgiving and since I decided to take a break from my 10 page paper, I figured might as well do something productive.

Everyone gets all dressed up on Thanksgiving and tries to look nice for the day they are about to spend with family. Men wear polos, button downs,collared shirts, and either dress pants or normal sized jeans while woman spend the night before digging through their closets for an outfit that probably isnt too comfortable. To me, the dress code for Thanksgiving dinner is completely backwards.

This year i had a revelation. The night before Thanksgiving, i was out drinking until 5am. When i woke up at 1 Thanksgiving day, my head was pounding and i was completely shot. I did not want to do anything except eat a big dinner and go back to bed. I threw on my sweatpants and a tshirt and went to my aunts for dinner. Everyone was all dressed up and there i was in sweatpants and a white t. My grandma yelled at me for dressing like a slob. However after dinner when a bunch of us went into the living room to watch television, who do you think was the most comfortable? Me. I had on comfy clothes and was fine. My dad was pulling at his shirt and looked miserable. He’s not used to wearing collared shirts.

So my revelation is why do people get all dressed up? You’re going to stuff yourself with food and afterwards you’re going to want to lay down. So why not come prepared with comfortable clothes? I’m not sure where but i remember hearing somewhere that Turkey makes people sleepy. If i’m going to do something that makes me drowsy, i dont want to be in a dress pants and a button down. I want to be in my pajamas. Thanksgiving dress code needs to be changed and i’m starting it in about 15 years when i have Thanksgiving dinner at my house.

Nobodies allowed in unless they are in pajamas or sweatpants.


“There are black people and there are niggers. That’s just how white people will do you. It’s as if white people didnt know they were being cruel.” Usually i wouldnt find this line hysterical if i never saw Chris Rock’s stand up.

This is absolutely hysterical:

This is Chris Rock explaining the difference between black people and niggers. Hard to take Oboma’s line seriously after you have seen this. I’d rather blog about Chris Rock’s stand up then Oboma’s boring, whiny, stupid, racist book. As i type this Im listening to Chris Rock’s stand up and i’m dying. Next semester assign his book instead of Obomas because i’m positive the entire class will thank you. I guess Chris Rock is a racist too though.

I hate how Oboma is so angry at white people. He hates them. It’s insane. His WHITE mother and WHITE grandmother raised him. His dad wasnt even around. White people raised you you dumb ass. I love the title of the book “Dreams of my Father”. It should be called “Dreams of my Father who wasn’t Around and Besides Being 50% of the Reason I am Alive,Did Nothing.” How do you do something like that to your mother? I’m sure she had dreams of you being a great success one day considering she’s the one who you got a good education and told you how important school was. She’s the one who paid for your good schooling. Pathetic.

It’s easily visible hes all angry and upset with white people. You’d think this was a slave narrative like Booker T. Washington’s “Up from Slavery”. You want to read about a tough life? You want to read about a real from nothing to something story you read that book. It’s hard to take Oboma’s hardships as a black man seriously after you read “Up from Slavery”. Absolutely ridiculous. Chris Rock’s stand up is over and im a little mad typing this because this subject pisses me off.

I dont like politics and I dont vote because i’d rather do a lot of things then go somewhere and vote when in all honesty, my vote means shit. “But if everyone thinks that then you’re vote does mean something.” No moron that’s not true. Want to know when i’ll vote? When there is a tie. This way my vote matters big time. Let me know when that happens and the country is waiting for me.

Anyways in this silly book he insults “Heart of Darkness” which i happen to like. A lot of people hate it, i think its an entertaining journey. You probably think i like that book and dislike Oboma’s because i’m a racist. Not true so save yourself the thought. Conrad’s book apparently “makes me understand why people learn to hate.” My ass Oboma. The only way i’d use that quote is if i was describing your book.

He talks about how he smoked weed and drank and how he’s soooooooooooo cool. This book was published to help this man become president. Talk about weed and drinking, you got the young vote hands down. Talk about how much you hate white people and love being black, you got the black vote. Add in the white people who hate being white and democrats, you win. This is something pretty funny i found on youtube as well:   . Hysterical!!

I also think this video of Oboma is pretty funny. He cant even answer Why did you start running for president? Thats the easiest question you could ask the president and he cant even answer that. The man’s retarded. I could answer that question in 5 seconds and im not the president. I’ve never been any type of president for anything.

3 People Who’s Blogs You Should Read (After mine)

Michael Zyskind- You might want to read this blog before reading mine actually. These blogs are packed with information and go the extra mile. I would bet $1000 he gets an A+ in this class and feel very confident in my bet. He has inspired me to try and make my blogs a little longer to really drive points home. His blog is great. His last blog brought up some very interesting points and his blog on Drown hit the nail on the head.

Cindy Aguilar- This blog is very visual. With Persepolis she used photos to show her favorite seen and uses quotes to back up her views. I like the technique here because along with her opinions she adds quotes to really help sell her point of view. I like this blog a lot. I really enjoyed the ending to her Sound and the Fury blog. The questions she asks at the end are a lot of the same questions i found myself wondering about.

The last blog i enjoy is a tie between all of the people who are not caught up and slacking. You might ask why would i like these blogs and the reason is very simple: BECAUSE I HAD TO READ A LOT LESS! These people dont have too many blogs and most dont write too much. I find that enjoyable because its less work for me. They also made me tell which blogs kick ass and which blogs are under par.

Cindy and Mike have great blogs. Give them A’s. For the peoples who’s blogs i love for their shortness and are too busy sippin cocktails to be up to date, give them A’s too. Give us all A’s. If these people did not exist, then you would have no blogs to compare the good ones to.

Would you appreciate the sunlight without the darkness?

How to Date a Brown Girl

This is easily my favorite story. I loved it right from the beginning when he is telling the reader how he hides embarrassing pictures of himself and cleans the bathroom since he knows he has a girl coming over. Not going to lie, if i have a girl coming over i do the same exact thing so that made this story very relatable.

“Her parents dont want her seeing anyone in the terrace. People get stabbed in the terrace” Definitely my favorite line.

He also says that if the girls a local, she doesnt need to hear stories about your neighborhood but if she isnt to tell her. Yup i’ve done this too when i would hang out in queens with my cousin and hit on her friends, telling them about my town North Babylon. I think this story is relatable to most guys and not just me.

“Never lose a fight on a first date.” Good advice. This story is filled with good advice. I’m going to have all my friends read this story and to make notes of all of the pointers Junior gives guys.

I’m not sure if girls would like this story as much as guys. They might find it a little discriminating especially white girl because it says “they give it up easy.” That’s a part i found funny while a white girl might get a little pissed.

This story is just quick smooth and filled with information. It’s like a “How to” story.

My Spam Comments

The topic of “Spam Comments” came up today so I figured i’d take it upon myself to comment on some of their responses. First up is this comment from VeterinaryAssistantTips:

“This is such a great resource that you are providing and you give it away for free. I enjoy seeing websites that understand the value of providing a prime resource for free. I truly loved reading your post. Thanks!”

I have veterinarians looking at my blog, guess that means i’m a pretty smart guy. Pretty soon i’d like to start charging people $29.99 a month to read my masterpieces but that’s still in the works. With the money vets make, there shouldnt be any problems cashing the checks!

Next is from PhysioTherapist:

“I think one of your advertisements caused my internet browser to resize, you might want to put that on your blacklist.”

I’m sorry loyal fan but those advertisements are from companies who pay me thousands of dollars every week because i have a rare talent to captivate readers through my words.

Here is my personal favorite from Qcleaner:

“Hey I think you have a great blog going here, I found it on Bing and plan on returning regularly for the information that you all are providing.”

Thank you!! Comments like this are what I look at on rainy days when i’m down in the dumps because i lost a couple hundred gambling on a basketball game. All i can say is that I try.

MedicalTranscription writes:

“If you could e-mail me with a few suggestions on just how you made your blog look this excellent, I would be grateful.”

I make my blog look excellent because i put my all into each blog making my page a kick ass place to visit. If you’re talking about my design, well i honestly have no idea how i picked the background. That was ages ago. But the only thing that looks excellent on my blog page are the blogs themselves. The background could be plain white and this blog would still be awesome. If you are looking for someone to maybe work for you, i’m available. Email me and you could give my secretary a call and schedule an appointment.

Lastly is from Mark from OnlineCasino:

“excellent points and the details are more precise than somewhere else, thanks. -Mark”

Thanks a lot Mark! Excellence is what i strive for in each and every blog. You dont need to go anywhere else, you come to my blog! I welcome you with open arms and a hot chocolate.

So after writing all of this nonsense, i wonder, did everyone in my class get these spam comments? Am i really excellent or is everyone on this blog site excellent? Or do these people just want to give me a virus, crashing my computer so that i may never blog again!!!

Who knows but virus or not, the show must go on!

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